HD is a TV thing

"HD radio was always about what the industry wants, not about what consumers want"

- Mark Ramsey

Reminds me of:

• AM Stereo (still faded out when you went under a bridge)



• FM Quadrophinc (how do you justify that in a 73 Maverick?)



• New Coke (Pepsi?)



• The IBM PC Jr (take everything cool out of a PC and try to sell it ...)



• The USFL (please ... the Pittsburg Maulers?)



• Ford Edsel (the granddaddy of them all)



• Atari's E.T. home video game (even Girdie was embarrased)



• Euro Disney (zoot alore!)



• The Betamax (no movies in the format!)



• The Metric System (don't tell American's what to do)



• The "Baseball Network" (one painful year only)

I remember when we used to sit and brainstorm cool new things that would make our product even bigger. When we were right - we all cashed in. Even when we were wrong - the consumer still recognized that we were trying.

Now a-days before we can even meet, the bean counters want a detail of our revenue plan. Then the decide whether or not we can proceed.

I think every bean counter should have to buy an HD radio and keep it on their desk.

Another Lesson from Elliot

I'm sure that out of work PD wearing the "I'm so thirsty I could add a record" beer t-shirt to a convention last year is finally getting the last laugh.

But there is a bigger lesson in Elliot Spitzer's story today - one that radio should absorb.

The public hates hyprocracy.

They never saw it in Elliot's radio crusade. They never wondered why Elliot wasn't going after the big drug companies - who continue to use 'payola' tactics to move their product.

The public's distaste for corporate radio made Elliot's crusade a cake-walk.

But the moral majority corruption guy ... and a prostitution ring? That pisses off average people.

You see - Bill Clinton never came out and said that using one's position of influence to seduce young interns was wrong. It would be easy to argue hypocracy as Bill was asking for feminist support - - - but the public didn't see that. They forgave him.

Not Elliot. He was preaching morality in a condescening way ... while gettin' some on the side (and paying a hefty sum too!).

Back to us ...

Is there blatant hypocracy on your air-staff?

Face it - we all cast roles and ask talent to sometimes be something that is a stretch.

• Is your loveable dad guy on the show hitting strip clubs on Friday night?


• Is your paid spokesperson for the American Cancer Society a closet smoker? (actually happened to me once ...)


• If you "aveage working guy" morning host living in a mansion?

I'm not saying any of these things will kill you. But if the air bullies about their cause - they had better be living the life 100%.

Right Rush?

Right Kathie-Lee?

Two Trucks

Two trucks in our driveway today: both box trucks.

1. FIRST TRUCK was here to collect all of our plants. Our parent company must have cut plants out of the budget. (Honestly - I never realized they were rented!).


2. SECOND TRUCK was here to deliver a big screen TV to the business office. Guess CNBC looks better in a plasma.

Seriously - If I was going to get a big screen TV ... I would at least have the smarts to have it delivered on the weekend so what's left of the staff didn't see it come in - - - while the plants were being repossesed.

I miss the plants. I honestly took them for granted.

Gorilla Marketing No Longer Allowed

My kids are in a Christmas play at a local community center. My wife and I gave a donation and in return get a 'thank you' in the program.

Being the constant marketing professional - I make the donation (from my pocket) in the name of one of the radio stations in our cluster.

Looked pretty cool in the program - and a few people I know at the show came up and thanked me for having the station support community theater.

Damn I good.

Flash forward to Monday ... first call of the morning (never a good call)

SUIT: Aren't we in a marketing freeze?

ME: Sure are ... got the memo ...

SUIT: What the hell is this ... a station ad in a kids program? Who authorized this.

ME: Nobody - I paid for it. My kids were in the program. I paid cash and gave the station credit: pretty cool, huh?

SUIT: You can't do that ... how will it look?

ME: Good? I've had more people asking me about the station today than the last time we spent a quarter million on TV ... pretty good ROI - huh?

SUIT: Now we're going to have every kids Christmas pageant calling and asking for money.

ME: Send 'em to me. I'll buy an ad

SUIT: You can't buy for one of our stations ...

ME: Am I being punked?

SUIT: Punked?

ME: You know ... like Candid Camera.

SUIT: I don't have time for jokes ... the calls are pouring in.

ME: Send them all to me. My wife and I will buy ads in all of the programs.

SUIT: Suit yourself.

Nobody ever called.

That's how bad it's gotten on the inside.

** Turns out the suit had a kid in the play too **

Stupid Criminals

My station has a feature which involves local "no-bodys" who get to come-in and be a part of the show. A good portion of the people think they are fooling us because they try to use the time to pitch something they sell (or their kid/spouse/relative/ is selling). We know that and have fun with it.

This morning seemed normal. Lady who makes gingerbread houses ... and could it be coincidence ... she would make one for you in time for Christmas. Honestly, I have never had so much reaction - so many people wanting her number. Not for her gingerbread houses - to collect over-due bills. She is a deadbeat!

One of her suppliers had sued her and she got out of the court apperance by having her doctor order her into "severe" bed rest becuase of a bad back. Yet here she was ... live in the studio ... walking by her own power ... carrying gingerbread paraphanalia. Turns out he wasn't the only one. I got FIVE more calls from people who were looking for her.

Rather than be supponned, I turned over audio of the show to anybody who needed to prove she was not home on bed-rest. I have this horrible feeling of what probably happened next: She get's home ... fills out her Arbitron diary ... then gets supponned to be in court that afternoon ... leaving her just enough time to ERASE my station mentions from her diary and put in my direct competitor.

C'mon - you've got to have a screw loose to participate in the ratings!

Okay - I'm A Flip-Flopper

One of the interesting by-products of the TV/Movie writers strike is a chance to re-visit Jay Leno's first days as Tonight Show host (NBC is running 15 year old re-runs as a theme).

He was awful!

Not only his interviewing (which everybody bags on) - but his monologue.

He looked stiff and uncomfortable. He took FOREVER to get to the punchline. His monologue was filled with at least twice as many words as it is today (comparing the same length).

I've always heard about Leno passing Letterman with the famous Hugh Grant interview and lots of OJ Simpson satire (Dancing Ito's anyone?). But comparing his monologue from back then to a 2007 Leno tells the "rest of the story". Today:

• Jay is doing his shtick (not trying to fit into the Carson mold)
• He uses half the number of words - more descriptive ones today - and gets to each punchline quickly.
• He is having a conversation with the audience (which is why they moved the audience closer to him)
• He is relaxed and no longer shouting (except for effect).

As one who survived the 90's Late Night wars living in the Letterman camp, I have shifted into Jay's bunker. Dave is doing the same shtick. He is more predictable than ever. His bits run well past the punch-line. He is more inside than ever (talks too much to Paul, and not the audience). He just seems unapproachable.

So I am willing to accept the label of "flip-flopper," as I now coach morning shows to be more like Jay than Dave ... And I no longer make excuses for Dave's much weaker ratings.

So - Clear Channel is for sale?

I love Thanksgiving dinner with the extended family - we usually travel about a thousand miles from home in the car - listening to local radio along the way. More on that in the future.

In between gorging myself on home-made stuffing and mashed potatoes, my sister informs her friend that I work in radio. Her friend's first response:

So - Clear Channel is for sale?

How the hell would someone not working in the biz know - or even care - about Clear Channel? A quick sample check netted me:

• She didn't work in radio
• She didn't know anyone in the biz
• She could not name one other operator

My brother (who traveled 2500 miles for Turkey Day) chimed in too.

"I know Clear Channel, they bought (calls) and killed it for country. They suck."

Since then, I have gone out of my way to ask civilians if they are aware of Clear Channel. I can't believe how many know the name.

Nobody knows a TV operator - outdoor vendor - or newspaper publisher.

But everyone agrees - Clear Channel sucks!

For the record, my brother should have said Cumulus sucks as they own the station to which he was referring. But that is the point: Clear Channel has become the "Enron" of radio. They have taken the brunt of the blame for everything that ails us.

Let's hope that when the Clear Channel empire finally goes away - people are once again referring to individual radio brands - not ownership groups.